Email

So today I just got  an email from my College Algebra class. I'm barely passing it seems and to get a C I need to get atleast a 72% on all the remaining work. To be honest that shouldn't be too hard but it's still depressing whenever you get a message like that. I know that math isn't a major factor in my major but getting low grades in a class is always bad.... *sigh*

*This is my story as an english major*

"Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" By John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

So...I guess this is the beginning. I honestly don't even know what the point of me creating this is. I think I did this as a release, as a way to express myself and get everything out where it can be seen, as if I'm getting everything out in my own way. There's been so much going through my head lately, college is stressing me out with grades and such. There is just so much to do and always so little time, procrastination is a disease that has infected me ever since I was able to walk.

I'm also having all strange kinds of conflicted emotions lately. For the past week, while I've been going to bed, I've been depressed and saddened when I wake up and look over to see that there is no one else there. I'm not sure why but waking up alone has just been a terrible feeling lately, though to me it's nothing new. I'm used to waking up alone so this shouldn't bother me, but it does. I've been hearing constantly about people from my past and the pain just won't go away. I don't want to say that I'm at the point of depression but I do have a longing for companionship and a void created by loneliness, I am willing to admit that much.

A funny thing recently happened, I was on that website cleverbot.com, and I was just asking pointless and stupid questions. A question I decided to ask, out of complete spite, was "Do I deserve to be happy?" Haha ironically enough, the response I received was no.